A “clever” office memo from Fred, the sales intern, who is also organizing the office kickball team:
From: Fred, The Sales Intern
Subject: The Secret Life of Mangos
Last night, after everyone left, the half-eaten mango which was left on the counter awoke from his slumber. It made coffee, caught up on the news, then called for whores.
When the whores arrived the mango was irritated to have to go down and open the door for them, since the buzzer doesn’t work, of course. The mango and the whores hooked up the conference room projector and watched Cabaret, which the red-headed whore was gracious enough to pick up on the way here. They finished the Cristal that was in the fridge, and from the lingering smell in the studio this morning, lit up a fattie.
Finally, the mango threw inhibition to the wind and the whores proceeded to insert it into themselves in drunken happy glee. Negotiations for anal followed. They were successful from what I could tell by the contents of a hastily cleaned sink and a few spots on the ceiling.
Somewhere around 3AM, from what I’ve deduced, the mango paid his bill, let the whores out, and settled back into the bowl on the counter, a little stankier and shriveled than I remember seeing him the day before.
And this is where I found him this morning.